Every child typically has two sets of Grandparents. One set seem to always be the primary set. In my case, my father's parents were the primary. That is very unfortunate as that placed me in chaos and misery much of my life. I did get to spend some time with my Mother's parents. Those times and the heritage they afford brought bright spots to my life then and still do to this day!
My Mother's parents lived on a farm in Knox Co. and my mother and I visited them rarely. Those rare visits were treasures to me. Many have said bad things about my Grandfather but my personal experience did not reflect that.
Visiting them was like a beautiful breathe of fresh air. It always felt like a safe place. My Grandmother was a calm woman with a fantastic sense of humor, she was an excellent cook, a caring woman with a very nurturing spirit about her.
My Grandfather Tolliver was a very quiet man who spent a good bit of time sitting under the shade tree whittling. I remember so many times sitting in front of him enthralled with his whittling. He would take acorns and make me "cups and saucers" from them.... He also would keep my easter baskets, hung on a nail by the back door, we would use those to collect eggs when I came to visit.
My Grandmother would take me to the garden with her, telling me all about her vegetables and what to do with them. She would take me with her to the basement where I was fascinated by the shelves lined with canning jars of all sizes and shapes.
They were gentle, calm, loving, teaching, nurturing and I loved spending time with them.
Family dinners there were times to cherish. My grandmother's specialty was her cornbread, which was made in a cast iron skillet on top of the stove, and she flipped it... I mean really flipped it, right out of the pan, it turned in the air and landed in her skillet right where it belonged! I wish I could do that! :-) It had a wonderful taste, not sweet like many have become accustomed to. Always had green beans, she had special green beans, not sure how to spell the type "Roddy Kirby" is how you say it, not sure how it is spelled. They were flat beans and were oh so good. My uncles and aunts would come, cousins, some of my Grandmothers sisters. It was fun, lots of laughter, plenty of playtime with cousins, and good food. Very bright spots in my world
My time there was very little as they were not very fond of my father and to my father that made them an enemy. He did not like for us to visit them.
My Grandfather Tolliver passed away in the fall of 1972. At this point my Grandmother moved to town. That is when I became very acquainted with her and I treasure those times. I spent every other weekend with her, sometimes my cousin stayed too. It was always fun and pleasant.
Breakfast always included Jimmy Dean sausage with bread and chocolate milk... I still love to have those sandwiches.... takes me right back. Lunches generally consisted of a salad with her homemade dressing and rice with milk and raisins. At dinner time she would teach me how to cook a few simple things, grilled cheese was one I tried a good bit!
Now Grandma Tolliver was a woman who dressed nicely, matching, always looking nice. She always had matching earrings and necklace that matched her dress for the day! She only wore pants ONCE in her 95 years. She would walk to get her hair done once a week and had a regular appointment with a podiatrist. I always thought that odd but to her feet were a very important thing to take care of. Might be good advice as she lived to be 95 and had almost no illness or need for much medical care in her entire life. Maybe I should pay more attention to my feet??
I remember my amazement at her ability to make a grocery list and know before she ever left the approximate cost of every item and she was very good at it. I have adopted that technique myself. I can estimate cost of groceries just like that.
In summary, both sides of my family, maternal and paternal are polar opposites. My experiences with my Grandpa and Grandma Tolliver have stuck with me in such a positive way. Not sure how much they knew or if they sensed what a bright spot they were to me.
My Grandmother passed away in 1991.... In 1990, we had our last baby... and we named her after my Grandmother Tolliver. Hannah Zoe Walls Tolliver our youngest daughter is Hannah Ellen. What an honor to be named after someone so special.
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